If it is from God, It is not a Mistake

Since I was very young I knew I want to be. I knew which school subjects are useful and exciting, and which ones are not. I doodled in the the 'useless' classes. Okay they're not totally useless but I better allocate my time and energy to polish my doodling skill hahahah - and to decorate those boring plain and dull pages. Graduating from high school I was so sure about what major to take, graphic design was a trend - so many took it because of peers or simply because they didn't know what to choose, I took it wholeheartedly.

I knew it's God's calling for me.

I didn't need to take the compulsory and intensive psycho test before enrolling in colleges to find out my interest and strength, I knew the result already (okay I was a little surprised that the art/design field wasn't number 1, it was apparently - writing :p - tiny difference in percentage :). It's great. Text. Images. Copywriting. I was so gonna take this major.

I heard of warnings and stories of people thinking that they're in the wrong major - Ah, that would never happen to me-

Btw, don't make any important decision without asking God first okay :)

Art school = yay. Foundation year = wow. When it was time to decide, I was a bit tempted to take fine arts instead of communication design - and I was strongly advised to do so by some people. But no, graphic design had been living in my mind for years - and I didn't wanna get "too eccentric" you know - I wanna play with texts - I wanna design cards and stuff - I wanna be a designer. And although some people might disagree, one can be both. My mission - to be an ARTistic designer. I will graduate as a graphic designer, my name cards may say graphic designer, but I am and will always also be an artist inside.

Then I realized that the lecturers, are graphic people. Extremely graphic. Most of them do not accept that flexible theory. Only 1 or 2 understand, maybe 3, 3 and a half. And 1 of them is an artist :)

Then I was sick of the restrictions, the lack of human touch, their demand for perfect lines - the contradictions.

Then I started wondering how different life would have been if I chose to "obey" the lecturers and friends who were dying to convince me that I should join the faculty of fine arts 2 years ago. I remember how I once phoned home crying why o why and mom I want to transfer. And the fact that until now I'm always more excited to see fine arts exhibitions than my own faculty's. And I feel 'honest' calling myself an artist, and still feel a bit weird about the 'designer' title.

I wondered, did I choose the wrong major? Something I had never thought I would question before.

Was it a mistake?

It wasn't. Because God is never wrong.

After 1 year of ups and downs, and 1 exciting semester ( much much better than the first year but it came with several frightening moments hahaha), I knew why He put me in CommD : there's a new branch of specialism besides graphic design and advertising called "Image Communication" where they all meet and complement each other hence my creative and imaginative needs and passion can be fulfilled.

Illustrator. That's a dream job. Mein Traumberuf.

Thanks God You plan my future brilliantly. With surprises :))))

I didn't know this branch would be 'born' when I signed up for the faculty of CommD. That's a small twist with big impact, I can't imagine how it's gonnabe for me to be trapped in grids and kernings for one more year.

And speaking about regret, what if I took fine arts after all?

I might be crying right now because of the stress caused by sculpting - OH NO THOSE SHARP TOOLS AND THE MACHINE. I'M NOT A 3D PERSON. SCULPTING ISN'T MY THING and sometimes I forget it's a module in fine arts. And oh, another module in fine arts : printmaking. It is fuuuuuuuuuuunnnn but I'd also have to deal with heavy machines, naa it's scary. And I'd also have to be a neat freak because an accidental paint splash or finger prints might be funny on a canvas, not in prints. So can I say I regret choosing commD? Noh.

I am now happy with my major - the projects, and the ....still very graphic...studio lecturer's teaching method - but yea we apparently have different points of view that cause some major disappointments, what I see in the world of illustration out there is different than what is pictured in the studio tables ahahahah.

Fun-dation year :( I hope the next academic year is gonnabe more fun than you were :)

But yea, all emotions aside,

I have to understand, this is a brand new specialism and everyone's still learning (I seriously think that the lecturer who teaches the theory is more thoughtful and observant about images - she should teach studio next time ;) and I do what I believe, I do my best for God - not for the lecturers, He is the one who owns my life :)

He's gonna take me higher..